Hanging by a thread;
I’ll need courage and strength to pull through. I no longer am certain if I can do it. I’m doubtful about everything. Freaked out during bio lab today, for I failed to realise my microscope was faulty. Was too quick to blame myself for terrible practical skills. I don’t know how long I can press on, without breaking down. I really want to do a good job but I’m afraid I’m not up to it. I really don’t know.
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Nice song, by Khalil Fong.
I was supposed to wake up at 8 am to rush my work. And I didn’t ): I’m so going to wrap up my lunwen by tonight. I have to! Today’s the first day of school for many. If I’m not in IP, I can start school on 28 jan. Great, isn’t it.
Missing alot of things. The good o’l times where work seems so much easier. The friends I can chat with online when I’m troubled by work. And the people I used to be able to talk to so easily. Why, when we get older, more walls are built around us and between people?
Sometimes it feels no one understands
I don’t even know why
I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can’t see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through
Journey, by Angela Zhang.
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Escape from reality;
Irritated by alarms going off at 5 plus in the morning. My dear sister wouldn’t wake up to her own alarms which woke me up instead ): I had a long and hard time trying to get back to sleep. I wish she wouldn’t do that.
Worked all day. I still have chinese articles to work on for lunwen but at least the english bit is somewhat done. I must finish my entire lunwen by tomorrow night. Then I can only give myself tuesday and wednesday morning to work on journal. And have to rush creative product on thursday all the way till sunday ):
Some have whole load of time that they don’t know how to spend, for me, I have a whole load of work that I don’t know how to complete. I’m sooooo envious of you, you and you. Well, you must be really free to read my blog. Toodles.
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迷失
今天原本想换新手机，排了将近两个小时，才知道那款手机已经断货了 ):
我真的好累。我从美国回来后，便马不停蹄地做作业，如今，假期只剩下短短的7天，我依然还在挣扎。这几天里，我读了100多篇的大学毕业论文、报章报道、网页上的资料，眼睛真的好累。我就连在梦里都会想到作业，昨晚，我竟然梦到cherise告诉我：“明天我们得上liberty bell的课。”天啊，那可是美国著名的文物，我竟然在做梦时都想到。
我一直告诉自己不能轻言放弃，一定要加油。但是，我真的真的好累。前进的方向逐渐模糊，我这艘小帆快沉没了。丧失意志的船长不想与巨大的海浪搏斗，甚至萌起了放弃的念头。心里想：自己未免太不争气了吧，但又能如何在逆境中求存？需要明亮的灯指引我，需要帮助，需要会倾听我的烦恼的知己。
一切也许是我太强求了，给自己设下不可能的目标，不得不完成。但，我真的很累，又有谁明白？
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Boo!
I was watching the tv this morning and saw the countdown to the channel 8 new year countdown party: 1 day. Then I realised it’s going to be a new year in approximately 34 hours from now. 2010 sounds distant, maybe because it’s a double digit. I can’t really get used to writing dates, for instance, 27/07/10. The ‘10′ looks weird :/
Civics group allocation’s finally out yesterday. I’m so glad to be in 5c46, with 8 bsp scholars and nice classmates. I guess it’ll be a fun year ahead despite the tougher assignments. I’m really thankful to the person in charge of class allocations ‘cos I’m lucky twice, both in yr 3 and yr 5. In yr 3, I got into the same class as pj and hm and now I’m in the same class as cherise and the rest of bsp people (:
Been smsing my dear friends and seems like all of us are excited about the coming year. Minus the bsp work.
It’s a conducive afternoon. I’ve been waking up really early these few days, since a week ago. 7am and I’m up (: I’m feeling a lil guilty for not pushing myself to work harder on bsp so I’m going to commit myself to work today. Motivation says hi! The only sad thing is my dry eyes. What will I do without the wonderful invention of eyedrops.
Toodles! This is a useful place to write down my thoughts ><
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):
Sigh! Journal’s not completed ): PLUS LUNWEN IS SERIOUSLY NOT DONE!
Please knock my head/slam me into a wall/kill me. I’m dying anyway. Can’t churn out anything good ):
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I can’t seem to stay long on one theme. Taking a short break from working on my journal. Complexion’s not good (again). It irks me and yet I can’t do anything about it. Just hope it’ll go away like previous times.
There’s hardly anything to look forward to. Even M finds me acting odd and feeling unhappy. Maybe I am. It’s funny how no one keeps in contact during the holidays ): Yes I’m feeling down.
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